Hey Girls,

Happy post Valentine’s Day!! I hope it was amazing. Comment below with any cute stories, I want to hear!

So Valentine’s day has the potential to be a bit rough on some. And the day seems to be an emphasis on romantic relationships (which is great!) but let’s make this week a time to encourage and let our friends know how much we care about them. Why don’t we make this week Valentine’s day week? Let’s send “warm fuzzies,” to our friends telling them what we love and appreciate about them. And we can put this message at the bottom:

” Bam! You’ve been hit by a warm fuzzy because you are loved! Pass this along to two friends. Find out more info at dearabigail.net”

Remember we can’t do it alone,

Dearest Ladies,

I don’t think I am alone in feeling helpless, deeply saddened, and confused regarding the recent tragedy in Haiti. I wanted to post a message to you girls, but I was simply at a loss for what to say. (Which doesn’t happen often as this mouth is always blabbering about something..but you already knew that).

I then met with Mark and Will from the Grammy award winning group Audio Adrenaline, (now Audio Unplugged). They founded an orphanage in Haiti called the hands and feet project about 5 years a go. Mark was in Haiti at the orphanage when the earthquake hit. And I can tell you that as intriguing as the conversation with them was, and as blood chilling as Mark’s account of the earthquake was, the most impressive part was what they didn’t say.

Here I was sitting with two Grammy award winning rockers, who have chosen to give their lives away in such a profound and meaningful way. Seeing the pictures of the children in their orphanage and hearing stories of the orphans praying in the midst of chaos, impacted me on a far deeper level than any singing melody or guitar note ever could. They have given of their time, finances, and ultimately lives for these children that they had never met in Haiti. They could have easily lived within the comfort of their success, but instead they opened an orphanage and risked their lives to ensure a better life for these children.

I hope that this tragedy can help us find perspective and gratitude for the blessings all around us that we take for granted every day. (”…To solve the smell problem, people would put toothpaste under their noses”) And I hope this can serve as a reminder to never underestimate the positive impact that we are capable of having over people’s lives. This selfless attitude that Mark and Will possess is one that I continue to strive for, and I welcome you on my journey.

Let’s come together and really support Will and Mark and hands and feet. www.handsandfeetproject.org. My hope is that this video will show you a tangible way to help donate to the relief effort in Haiti to an organization and to new friends that I couldn’t support and endorse anymore.

We can’t do it alone,

Abigail

I have missed you!! (almost as much as how I am missing the ridiculously good looking black man in my life. Also commonly known as Toby, my furry 10 lb. four legged baby who is back in Michigan).

Any-who I have been a busy bee creating this video for you. Instead of writing a novel about the film, I want to simply show it to you in hopes that you will take out of it what is relevant to you. As opposed to trying to tell  you what it’s “supposed to mean”.

But I want to give you two questions to think about…(Which just may have been rolling around in my head as well)

- What lies do we believe about ourselves?

- Who do we look at as our mirrors?

I would love to hear your thoughts on the film and what it brought up for you. Or perhaps it didn’t bring up an answer but rather a question. So feel free to put your comments below.

We can’t do it alone,

Abigail

Click here to view the embedded video.

My dearest ladies,

I recently received this question:

hi abigail. I am going thrue a big change with my life right now and i was wondering how u go through changes.

This is a great question. Without knowing your situation I thought I would explain a change that has just occurred in my life and what I have learned from it, in hopes that it will give you help/hope during your change.

I recently went through a breakup. (not long before the video was made) We were together for about a year and 8 months, 620 days, 14,880 hours, and 892,800 minutes…not that I’m counting.

But, more about that later. You bet your bottom dollar there is more to come on that. But until then I will answer those little questions that are popping up in your head right now.

Yes, it hurts and is painful.

Yes, I can still say that I only wish the best for him.

Yes, I have peace that it was the right decision

And yes, fine, ok!…*insert sigh here*I guess I will accept condolences in the form of milk chocolate reeses peanut butter cups.

(Ok you probably weren’t asking any of those questions in your head, I think it was just an excuse to hear myself talk)

Anyways….on to the point of the post. I’m bringing this full circle here, I promise.

This video is a reminder to me that there is beauty to be found even when we are blinded by pain. Let me explain…

I went hiking and was surrounded by beauty literally all around me. (Nature, my family, laughter, the mountains) And it just made me think about how when we are hit with pain in our lives whether it’s in the form of a relationship breaking up, failing a class, feeling insecure, etc. it is sometimes hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. In fact lets be real, it’s quite honestly hard to see anything at all. (Except for the black mascara that always seems to ever so delicately pour down the face with the tears. I always feel like I’m in Metallica when this oh so lovely event happens).

Well, the Japanese Kanji for “crises” is actually made up of two characters. The first one is “danger” and the second one is “opportunity.”

I think we can all relate to the danger aspect. Emotions can feel dangerously overwhelming. It can feel like we just may break. But it’s ok that we allow ourselves the opportunity to grieve and cry through the process of healing from pain. We are much more resilient than we like to think. Ok, personally, I think that God made us girls have black tears on purpose. He’s probably sitting up there laughing saying “I have a great idea!! Maybe I’ll make the girls have black tears as a reminder that they are tough like…Metallica! That way they can cry freely because it’ll remind them that they simply aren’t going to break from their tears.”

(So next time you are with your date watching A Walk to Remember or Homeward Bound, you can send up a quick little thank you note to the big man upstairs.)

I can tell you that I never thought that I was strong enough to handle the breakup with my boyfriend. I thought I would come unraveled and would stay like that. And I am here to tell you, that I am alive (woot woot…) and fully intact. And I surprised myself with how strong I really am.

Although this wasn’t the situation that I had with my boyfriend, I wanted to tell you girls that if you are ever in a dangerous relationship that you are strong enough to get out. You may surprise yourself, as I did, with strength that you never knew you had.

Ok now you’re probably thinking “Alright Abigail I get that it’s ok to cry and grieve through the process, but where does opportunity come into play?” (I love how I always conveniently pretend like I know exactly what you’re thinking).

I think that when we are feeling the lowest in life is when we are almost given the opportunity for change, reflection, and to learn so much. It’s like a beautiful gift wrapped in the messiest package you can think of.  Because whether we like it or not when crises strikes (or when we are going through something tough) we are forced to change. Things just can’t remain the same as they were before. URGH!!!! ( I just had to let it out. I feel much better now, thank you.)

I talked to (my good friend/mentor/lunch date) Cheri (the wisest/amazing mom/talented writer/nurse/puts the “cool” back in marriage) today. I was talking to her about all of this and she had some cool things to add to the conversation.

She mentioned how the strange gift that pain offers us is that it reveals a vacuum in our lives that we were trying to fill with something even emptier than the vacuum itself. (deep!) Then we talked about how when something that we find security in or a sense of happiness in is taken away from us, we are forced to see the aching emptiness inside. URGH!!! (Just had to insert the frustration/hurt/pain again for dramatic effect)

So then when this happens we are at a crossroads. And we have two choices:

- We can turn away from it, ignore it, and attempt to fill it with yet another empty pursuit (ie romance, material possessions, outer beauty…reeses peanut butter cups)

-Or, we can look it straight in the eyes, (with our black Metallica tears) and admit with all of our being that there is an emptiness inside of us that craves something more…

And Cheri added some wise and heavy words that I thought I would quote. (Somehow when you put quotes around something it automatically makes it official and legit).

“…and then finally, we can search for it.  This is where it becomes a true gift.  We can stop chasing the wind and finally begin the most important and meaningful search of our lives, the pursuit for what is invisible yet is the most real thing we could experience in this life.  And that is the search for where we came from, where we are going and who we are.  When we discover these things, we are knee deep in the most fulfilling experience of our lives, our spiritual journeys.  Who does your soul belong to?  because the answer to that will reveal how big your vacuum is, and pain will help you ask that question even when you want to ignore it.  That is the gift pain offers.”  (give it a second…re read it..then let that one marinate)

I hope that I have given you some food for thought. I know that I have been chomping on a lot of this…

Stay tuned for a giveaway soon!

Remember we can’t do it alone,